The Beginning...?

I can't get myself to sleep.

Remember this? Well, I'm going on a pseudo date with him later. Yes, just the both of us. Of all the years we have known one another, I *think* this is the FIRST time we have actually gone somewhere without anyone else(unless seminars are taken into account).

I am so nervous.

Where to eat? He doesn't like spending money so goodbye Tony Roma's, Italiannies and TGI Friday's. But I don't want to grab burgers at McD or KFC! If only I spent less on labels, I can easily buy him an expensive dinner at Mandarin Oriental, have a drink at Sri Hartamas and a black code from Giorgio Armani as a gift on our pseudo date. If only.

What movie to watch? This is a pseudo date, fight scenes are a big no no. No to spirits-related movies too as today is the 14th of the 7th month of the lunar calendar, the day which hungry ghosts come to earth in search for food. He as a buddhist won't agree with watching ghostly movies. Doraemon then?

How to make him take pics? Believe it or not, for all these years, we have NEVER taken a single photo together. Seriously, never! It's gonna be super awkward to suddenly tell him that i want him to pose so that I can snap a sexy picture of him. Besides, what's my reason? "Because I love you so much that I can't live a single day without looking at you, even if it's only a picture of you" "Beacuse I wanna snap pics of us every now and then so that in the future when we look back at these pictures, we can have a good laugh at how young we once were and to remember how long have we known each other"?

Friends have been telling me to treat this as any other normal outing with friends so that things will be less un-norm. Easy for one to say. We cannot control how our brains think, can we? If I can, I'd rather make myself fall for girls, get married and have children like any other straight guy! Life would've been much better then.

The last thing I need to hear now are love songs, which ironically, are playing on my iTunes now. Sigh.

Btw, I've just watched Cut Sleeve Boys and boy is Steven Lim hot and sexy! I don't usually go for Asians when I watch movies but seriously, whichever gay or bi male who didn't have a slightest bit of crush on him is either a retard or is simply blind. Just the kind of build I wish I have: pecs, biceps and a beautiful V-shaped curve. Six pack? Who needs them if whatever he's got is enough to make him a sex god? That unshaven look and that tattoo gave him quite some points too!

"I want you to fuck me, please, Sir."