Obsession, Again

I'm currently obsessed with Sam's jacket. It looks like the one which I've been looking for a very long time. Even the colour is the one I've been wanting!

We have something in common, at last. I'm still thinking whether I should ask him where he got that jacket from the next time I see him. It's common among the girls but it just doesn't seem right for a guy to compliment another guy's jacket and ask where he got it from.

Alex: Hey honey, nice jacket you have!
Sam: Really? Thanks!
Alex: The material's really great. Where did you get it from?
Sam: Oh, it's just a Dolce. Do you want to feel it?
Alex: Of course! May I feel you too?
Sam: Pardon?

Sam may not be fashionable but he does know how to choose clothes, especially jackets, that look nice on him. He has that potential in him to be a high-fashion metrosexual, but he chose to be an ordinary guy. Many people, incuding me, struggle to be metrosexuals but kept failing. I never got a hair-cut that suits me, I never get eyewear that suits me, I never get nice accessories, I never get nice footwear, and my wardrobe is a disaster. I've been attempting to get wardrobe make-overs but it always end up as a mess. I'm currently rebuilding it again, hopefully it'll be a success.

Anyway, this post isn't dedicated to Sam or to myself, but to Handsome. Yes, Handsome is a new guy which I'll be introducing to this blog but he wouldn't be making much apperance in this blog because today's the first time I meet him and I suppose I won't be seeing him much as he's a student from another med school.

Handsome is an Indian, about 5'7", and he is the most handsome, most good-looking Indian guy I've ever seen. Not only me, but my friends think the same too. According to a friend, Handsome was his college mate and he's one of the most handsome guy in college back then. So, it seems that my taste is quite good, eh?

I never knew Handsome existed until tonight, when I attented some sort of Indian New Year event. He was an usherer in the event, so he had to wear a suit. He looks god-damn good in the suit, as though he's born to look nice in suits. I envy him very much as he's so good looking and looked so good in a suit(not everyone looks good in suits).

I'm pretty sure he doesn't swing my way but no harm having a little crush on him, eh? Crushes are good for the soul, it's proven. Damn, I can't get him out of my mind. All that features are what ALL men and women like. Whoever thinks he's not handsome is simply blind. Oh god, I have to see him again. The next time I see him, I'm gonna make sure he notices me. No harm sending some signals too. Who cares whether he swings my way or the other? If he swings my way, good for me. If he doesn't, no worries. He's from another med school, we won't see each other often, even if words get out that he's freaked out by a weird guy from another med school, he wouldn't have the chance to show who the weird guy is and eventually, he'll forget about it and move on with life. What a great plan isn't it?

I know I'm crapping a lot. My brain had shut down. I might not recall how he looked like when I wake up tomorrow morning but right now, all I know is that I need to blog about him, and how I wish he's on my bed now so that I can taste him tonight. Flings are good for the soul too. It's proven.

Love Is Overrated

As the title suggests, in the 21st century, love is nothing more than a game. Trust? Virginity? No one cares about that anymore. Boy tells girl to trust him but he's having an affair behind girls back or even worse, boy says that girl didn't trust him enough, so boy wants to break-up because he can no longer be together with a person who cannot trust him, but the ultimate truth is that boy is cheating on girl A with girl B and this is just his plan to break up with girl A so that he could be together with girl B and not look like the bad guy.

Virginity? That's not important anymore. What's important now is how many people have a person slept with compared with his peers. Boy A has slept with 5 different girls in 2 months, boy B has slept with more than 10 girls in the past 3 months, so now boy A is trying to get more girls to sleep with him so that he wouldn't lose to boy B. Girls? Girls A and B are batchmates. Both of them slept with guys from their batch and they openly compare the boys' sizes in public. Boy 1 is small but he's good at it. Boy 2 is big and he's good at it too. Boy 3 is small and bad in it too. So, girls' conclusion is that the next time they want to get some fun, boy 2 is the one.

There are worst things that I've heard, but it would be unpleasant to post it in the net. The bottomline is, love has lost its value compared to before. You can still treasure it, but if it's gone, don't be too upset. Invest in something more real instead, like golds and diamonds!

P/S: I've heard that many people like(d) me, but I can only assume that they're desperate. Why? I know where I stand in the handsome/hot/cute scale, and my rank is definitely not high enough to get such popularity. Either the standards are altered due to the lacking of handsome/hot/cute guys around or the people here are just too desperate. Honestly, both reasons are true, but I think the latter has bigger influence on this.

Torment

I can't not love Sam.

He's cute, he's charming, he smiles a lot, he's friendly. He's the guy anyone would want to have as a boyfriend.

I thought I could've just forget about him and move on with life. I was dead wrong. I've cut off all possible contacts with him by not attending lectures, by leaving for classes later tham him, by not going to places where he usually goes. But it lasted for only 2 months.

Several weeks ago, I was involved in some sort of activity in which he's also involved in. I tried my best to not have any contact with him by keeping myself busy with my own chores but I think because of this, he noticed that I was one of the very few people who did their jobs well and not talking too much. In fact, I was the only person who not only completed my own task but also helped to complete others' tasks. He came over and we talked a little, and he even told me to get enough rest after the event.

Sweet, yeah? This was where things went haywire.

Since then, my subconscious mind keeps telling me that the fact that he asked me whether I was tired after doing so many things and that he told me to get enough rest means that he cares for me. Plus, whenever he talks to me he calls for my name first. Like, finally, he knows and actually calls me by my name!

It was also the fact that we actually had a conversation that I can no longer pertend as though he's a mere acquaintance. Whenever I see him now, I have to smile and say 'Hi' to him because he's more than an acquaintance. Plus, he's the friendly guy who goes around saying 'Hi' to everyone, so it would look as though I'm anti-social if I choose to ignore him. And thanks to his million-dollar-winner smile, my heart melted once more.

Come to think about it, he does that to everyone! Why should I be so happy then? If he does that only when he sees me, then I should celebrate la! But still, even if I cannot have him as my boyfriend, I can still have him as a friend, right?