It's Not Over

It may be just me but I've somehow stumbled upon some information which leads me to thinking that perhaps I was right all along. It wasn't the gaydar that was faulty, but the target.

Being a Muslim, he has to choose to have a relationship with a woman, but deep down in his heart he knows that this isn't what he wants, which is why he's always uncertain about things and has caused me to receive mixed signals from him.

A status update in his Facebook made me wonder who is he referring "die(slang for 'dia' in Malay, which means 'he/she')" to.

"Aku suka die(I like him/her)."

It could be anyone, but at 3 in the morning, I subconsciously hope that the person is me.

Perhaps, I've never really let him go but just "put into a small box and kept it away".

Skinneh Jeans

For Christ's sake, can someone tell me what's wrong with guys wearing skinny jeans?

I was at class yesterday and a female friend(FF) looked at me (with horror) and asked:

FF: Is that skinny jeans you're wearing?!?!?!?!?
Me: Urh....no. It's a pair of slim jeans, if you really need to know.
FF: Don't lie! I know it's a pair of skinny jeans!
Me: Um... It REALLY is a pair of slim jeans. Skinny jeans tend to hug on your legs more, whereas slim jeans are well, for slim people like me so that we don't look too disproportionate like we do when we wear straight-cut jeans. They DON'T hug our legs. Besides, my legs are too fat to fit into skinny jeans.
FF: *looking suspicious* ........really?? But I tell you, guys shouldn't wear these type of jeans lah! They make guys look gay. UNLESS, the guy is tall and has long, slender legs.
Me: *stares at her*
FF: But you're tall la actually. But still don't wear skinny jeans la OK? They look very awful and gay.
ME: ..............

It must be the air everyone's breathing here. Somehow, none of the Malaysian students here in Moscow have any sense in fashion at all. Even I who used to have some knowledge in fashion became very much inhibited now because of the people I mix around with for the past two-and-a-half years.

Me wearing a black, full-framed glasses. Gay.

Me having a ear piercing. Gay.

Me dressing up for occasions(eg: Christmas, CNY). Gay.

Me loving shopping. Gay.

Me having not just a facial wash but also a moisturizer and toner. Gay.

Me owning lots of clothes and footwear. Gay.

With all these negative comments on whatever I do/wear, it's amazing how I'm still surviving till this very day.

Oh, because I dress down so much now to please the crowd. That's why.

Seriously, if you dare to even tell me that skinny jeans are horrendous, I ask you to explain to me why did you dress up all green from top to bottom(even your bag is green) when it's not Christmas? Did someone tell you that you would photosynthesize if you do so?

Seriously.

...And Then I Smiled

It must've been quite some time since I last mentioned about Sam and all the things I encounter with him.

It must've been more than six months since I last thought and blogged about him. And that's because he doesn't occupy such a huge part of my life anymore, probably due to the fact that he isn't even slightly ghey and that he's already 'married'.

I don't know if it's just me or what but not being able to see me for two months(because I was back in Malaysia) seems to have quite a great impact on him.

I'm saying so because I've noticed that he'd been looking at me the whole morning on our first day back at school. It's not like I became much better looking over the winter holidays. Even if I did, it shouldn't be the reason for him stare at me the whole morning because he's supposed to be straight.

I knew that he was staring at me and waiting for me to acknowledge him but being the evil self, I chose to ignore him. I know I'm bad but whatever. He treated me like a dog once, so now it's payback time!

Throughout the whole day I kept a close eye on him but he must've became bored of this game because after noon he practically stopped looking at me! But he didn't last long. In the evening he was practically looking at me again in the lecture hall. Hah!

After the lecture we returned to our hostel. He lives on the first floor and me on the fifth. Thinking back how I was being cold to him the whole day, I couldn't help but feel bad. And so when I was climbing up the stairs to the second floor, I turned back, looked at him...

Leaving On A Jet Plane

So, this is my last day in Kuala Lumpur for my winter break. I'll be leaving for Moscow later at night, at 9.10PM.

So many things happened in fifty-two days. From wedding parties to the New Year, to the Chinese New Year, to Chap Goh Mei.

It's Valentine's Day. It sure does feel more lonely celebrating it alone, but what the heck, life still goes on!

Stay tuned as the next post will be from Russia!

When Retail Therapy Isn't The Best De-stress Method

It's the Year of The Ox. Everyone's talking about the ox, the bull, the cow, the calf and everything that grow horns and walk on fours and moos.

And if you don't already know, there's this HUGE ox ornament right outside the Jalan Bukit Bintang entrance of Pavilion KL. Not wanting to miss out on the hype(yes, I'm very competitive, even when it comes to having a look of this cow that basically doesn't do anything other than posing), I rushed to KL this afternoon(Saturday afternoon, that is) to get a glimpse of this magical animal posing in its full glory.

Other than being solid and lavishly painted in gold, the cow ox is just, well, an ox. But it's a totally different story if you're sexcited by the sight of its micropenis. It's not like I'm a perv or what but it's really hard not to notice the penis on that ox. I mean, if you're gonna make an ox, at least make it manlier lah(I know penis size has no relation with manhood but you gotta accept the fact that men just can't shake that off their minds). Why build such a big ox if you're gonna humiliate its manhood in public. I bet it won't cost too much to make it longer and thicker, considering the little amount of material needed to build a penis compared to the head and the horns and the body. You get what I mean.

Anyway, shall move on before this post turns into an explicit one.

So, back to the title. For many years now people have been saying that retail therapy is actually healthy for the soul, if not for the bank account. For years, I've been buying that story and will go for retail therapy at the slightest feel of stress. But it's not like I spend huge amount of money whenever I'm out. Sometimes I'll get a sweater from Armani Exchange, the jeans of Topman or the tee from Zara. But sometimes when I feel like spending but can't afford it, I'll just sit at Secret Recipe and have a slice of cake.

But this time, the time where I'm back in Malaysia-oh-the-so-called-shopping-heaven, I don't get to destress as much as I did before. I've been in Malaysia for six weeks now and I've been to all the shopping malls now(One Utama, the Curve, Mid Valley Megamall, Gardens, Pavilion, Sunway Pyramid. You name it, I've been there!) not just once but at least three times each but I've only bought an item so far. Yup, six weeks, endless shopping, only one item. Are you gonna call me God or what?

OK, I know that the economy's bad right now but we all know that the best way to revive the economy is by spending! I'm trying to do my part to help revive the economy but I think God is opposing me. Every time I enter Gap and want to get something, the size I'm looking for is always out of stock. I've tried ALL Gap outlets and they are all out of stock. Like, seriously? Are there really that many men in Malaysia with waist size of thirty inches? Every time I go out, people look at me and say "you look so skinny, you try 28 lah". I wish I could but the sad truth is if I were to force myself into a 28-inches pants I'll definitely tear it apart when I squat. Now that the truth is out, no one can say that I'm skinny anymore BECAUSE YOU AND I WEAR THE SAME SIZE ALRIGHT! OK, maybe it only applies to those with 30 inches waist but still, if 30 inches is skinny then what about those who wear size 28? Might as well just categorize them as anorexic.

Just when I thought this incident would only happen in Gap, the same incident happened in Topman. You all do know that the sizes of Topman jeans come in sizes 28, 30, 32, 34, 36 and probably 38? For Gap, I wear size 30 because Gap's clothes are always bigger. For other labels, I'm usually on size 31. In Topman, there's no such thing as size 31. Either you're 30 or 32. If you can't comfortably fit into either one, you fuck off. Me being the usual stupid guy, thought "maybe I'll just get the size 32 so that I can still fit into it when I grow sideways next time. For now a belt will do the job". And so when I thought the problem with my jeans is solved, here comes the problem of the belt. There was this belt which I bought four years ago(the peak of me trying to be a lala. Yes, it's sad but I once did worship the God of Lala) which I thought was cool back then but now that I've outgrown the lala-ness, I find the belt very inappropriate. So I had to search high and low for a belt that looks decent and a little bit towards the high fashion side. Guess what? A year have passed and I'm still walking around shopping malls with the lala belt.

Like, major sigh la! Either the nice ones are taken or they're at least RM239(damn you Armani Exchange!). And the closest ones I could find just don't seem to be up to my expectations. Or maybe it's the other way around. But just know that I'll be stuck for the lala belt for another 4-5 months if I don't get a nice belt within a week!

Don't even get me started with the amount of clothes I've tried and couldn't get the sizes I want. Like, almost everyone my size has to happen to like the same shirt as I and get them before me. Like, IF YOU ALL THINK THAT I'M SKINNY THEN WHY YOU ALL FIGHTING FOR SIZE M CLOTHES WITH ME?!?!!?!?!? If you like body-hugging tees then at least tone your body so that it's your pecs and your abs that the tee is hugging and not your tummy. Or if you really like body-hugging tees, might as well just wear tank top all the time la, that way you can show off your body as long as you want.

ONLY PEOPLE WITH PECS AND ABS SHOULD WEAR BODY-HUGGING SHIRTS! IF YOU DON'T HAVE THEM THEN PLEASE BUY SIZE L CLOTHES, DON'T FORCE YOURSELF INTO A SIZE M AND SUCK IN THE TUMMY WHEN YOU WALK.

See, retail therapy can be painful at times. But being the stupid me, I won't give up until the very last day I'm in Malaysia. I gotta buy some clothes and bring back to Russia la, if not I appeal for 30kgs of check-in baggage weight for what?

Share The Great Music

I've been looking for this new single from Colton Ford online but it's only available on US' iTunes Store.

It's called 'Trouble'. If anyone has it, mind sharing it with me? =)