A and I have been going out alone for the past three days. We had dinner and hanged out at McD on Monday, watched "REC", had dinner and hanged out at Starbucks on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, we hanged out at Starbucks again. Just that on Wednesday, we met because he was supposed to meet his ex too and he thought that it'd be awkward to be just the two of them, so I was asked to join them.
His ex joined us for less than two hours and he left, which left the two of us, alone, AGAIN. Not wanting to stay at Starbucks any longer(A had diarrhea after he had the Americano on Tuesday night), we went to McD, again(we're just not very good at suggesting places to hang out). Thank goodness we stayed there till 4AM, because our initial plan was to go shopping at Pavilion today(Thursday), but has to be cancelled now because we both are very sure that we won't be awake till at least 12PM. But we're meeting up again on Friday to catch "Red Cliff II" on the big screen.
I'm starting to see things clearer now. He had been asking me out for the past three days because he was lonely and he knew I wouldn't reject him. He asked me out to Starbucks on Wednesday because he didn't want to feel 'awkward' being alone with his ex. We have been going out for the past three days but he never fails to mention about his ex each day. He basically just think of me as a friend, perhaps a very good friend but I doubt it. In fact, I'm quite sure that if it wasn't for the fact that his friends from university have either gone overseas or that they've gone back to their hometown to celebrate Chinese New Year, he wouldn't even ask me out. I'm merely a tool.
Seriously, we hadn't been all that close after college, and even when I returned to Malaysia on December last year, we hadn't contacted one another. It was until he was done with his exams that he actually contacted me. But I can't put all the blame on him. He might be the one asking me out whenever he feels lonely or bored, but it was me who always made myself available for him. I blame myself for being so soft-hearted when it comes to him.
Now that I know he still has some feelings for his ex and isn't really ready for a new relationship, I should be thinking for myself too. I am done being nice, hoping that someday he'll realize and actually give us a chance. I am done going out on dinners with him. I am done watching movies in the cinemas with him. I'm done listening to him whine. I'm done trying to fool myself into thinking that we're somewhat dating.
Seriously, I don't even know why I agreed having dinners with him, don't even know why we watched movies together, don't even know why we hanged out at Starbucks till 2AM. It's not like I do not have better things to do.
And we even sat at McD till 4AM? Heck, I don't even have that much to talk to my parents, at least not for three consecutive days!
His ex joined us for less than two hours and he left, which left the two of us, alone, AGAIN. Not wanting to stay at Starbucks any longer(A had diarrhea after he had the Americano on Tuesday night), we went to McD, again(we're just not very good at suggesting places to hang out). Thank goodness we stayed there till 4AM, because our initial plan was to go shopping at Pavilion today(Thursday), but has to be cancelled now because we both are very sure that we won't be awake till at least 12PM. But we're meeting up again on Friday to catch "Red Cliff II" on the big screen.
I'm starting to see things clearer now. He had been asking me out for the past three days because he was lonely and he knew I wouldn't reject him. He asked me out to Starbucks on Wednesday because he didn't want to feel 'awkward' being alone with his ex. We have been going out for the past three days but he never fails to mention about his ex each day. He basically just think of me as a friend, perhaps a very good friend but I doubt it. In fact, I'm quite sure that if it wasn't for the fact that his friends from university have either gone overseas or that they've gone back to their hometown to celebrate Chinese New Year, he wouldn't even ask me out. I'm merely a tool.
Seriously, we hadn't been all that close after college, and even when I returned to Malaysia on December last year, we hadn't contacted one another. It was until he was done with his exams that he actually contacted me. But I can't put all the blame on him. He might be the one asking me out whenever he feels lonely or bored, but it was me who always made myself available for him. I blame myself for being so soft-hearted when it comes to him.
Now that I know he still has some feelings for his ex and isn't really ready for a new relationship, I should be thinking for myself too. I am done being nice, hoping that someday he'll realize and actually give us a chance. I am done going out on dinners with him. I am done watching movies in the cinemas with him. I'm done listening to him whine. I'm done trying to fool myself into thinking that we're somewhat dating.
Seriously, I don't even know why I agreed having dinners with him, don't even know why we watched movies together, don't even know why we hanged out at Starbucks till 2AM. It's not like I do not have better things to do.
And we even sat at McD till 4AM? Heck, I don't even have that much to talk to my parents, at least not for three consecutive days!
Posts
1 comment:
Please express your feelings to him and get a confirmation. Whichever way it goes, at least you cld decide how to move on then.
Best wishes fm a concerned stranger! :)
+Ant+
Post a Comment