WARNING: This entry contains some explicit materials. If you are below 18, leave this page immediately! For those who choose to proceed, remember that you have been warned.
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I think I'm not actually bisexual. Maybe I'm just the regular straight guy who's sometimes confused with his sexuality. Maybe I thought I'm gay because my friends say metrosexuals are gays. Maybe I thought I was gay cos' I was exposed first to the male sexual organ before the female's due to regular visits to the swimming pool when I was younger which required me to hang out alot in the changing room?
So many possibilities out there I don't even know what made me gay. Dayumnn I sound like a pregnant slut not knowing who the father of the unborn child is!
I do not know if it's just me or what but, I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with another man. Like, the very thought of me together with my "boyfriend" having meals, going for movies and shopping makes my stomach upset. Like, TOTALLY grossed out upset. And don't even mention doing anything intimate, I'll really puke. Not sure why, but I don't get such feeling when it comes to girls. Confused straight guy much?
Then something happened recently which made me doubt my gay-ness even more. The housing area at my place has a private club house, gym and pool. When you look out the windows of the gym you can see what's going on in the pool. So one evening, I was in the gym and when I look out of the windows, I saw asmokin' hot Caucasian man playing in the pool with his two sons. I was momentarily transported to the future where I have my own kids and we lead a very, very happy life. Problem is, there's no "significant other" in the picture. No daddy, no mommy. Just me and my son and daughter. Weird. Now before you say that those kids might be adopted, I can assure you that they're 100% fertilised using my *ahem* seeds *ahem*.
Kids!! Now I haven't seen gay parents(is there even any, knowing that the law still doesn't approve gay couples to adopt?) before but I think most gays are more interested in night clubs and sweaty sex and dirty orgies and bling-blings and Prada and Gucci(when they're in their 20s-30s) compared to kids? And there don't seem to be much gays in their 40s, 50s, and so on because love isn't the top 'priority' among gay couples so most of them break up when the party days are over and they just hide in the jungles regretting their mistakes? I may be wrong but I'm sure I'm right in some points because, no offence, the gays seem more like sex addicts than lovely people to me. And I'm stating this based on facts. Ask anyone where to find gay people and they'll say "gay clubs", "local gym", and "public pool". And the reason they're there? You and I both know.
So you really can't blame me when I say that the gays don't look like kids-loving people to me.
So yeah, unless I get a surrogate mother, the only way I think I could conceive my own children is to get married with a womanwhich I'm not sure I'm capable of doing because I'm a commitment phobe.
At the end of the day, I still can't tell if I'm bi or a confused straight. Can't deny the fact that I enjoy looking at hot men but to imagine myself with another man is just too much. Hot men envy perhaps? Like how girls experience penis envy?
Perhaps it's time I seek help from a professional. What do you guys think?
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I think I'm not actually bisexual. Maybe I'm just the regular straight guy who's sometimes confused with his sexuality. Maybe I thought I'm gay because my friends say metrosexuals are gays. Maybe I thought I was gay cos' I was exposed first to the male sexual organ before the female's due to regular visits to the swimming pool when I was younger which required me to hang out alot in the changing room?
So many possibilities out there I don't even know what made me gay. Dayumnn I sound like a pregnant slut not knowing who the father of the unborn child is!
I do not know if it's just me or what but, I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with another man. Like, the very thought of me together with my "boyfriend" having meals, going for movies and shopping makes my stomach upset. Like, TOTALLY grossed out upset. And don't even mention doing anything intimate, I'll really puke. Not sure why, but I don't get such feeling when it comes to girls. Confused straight guy much?
Then something happened recently which made me doubt my gay-ness even more. The housing area at my place has a private club house, gym and pool. When you look out the windows of the gym you can see what's going on in the pool. So one evening, I was in the gym and when I look out of the windows, I saw a
Kids!! Now I haven't seen gay parents(is there even any, knowing that the law still doesn't approve gay couples to adopt?) before but I think most gays are more interested in night clubs and sweaty sex and dirty orgies and bling-blings and Prada and Gucci(when they're in their 20s-30s) compared to kids? And there don't seem to be much gays in their 40s, 50s, and so on because love isn't the top 'priority' among gay couples so most of them break up when the party days are over and they just hide in the jungles regretting their mistakes? I may be wrong but I'm sure I'm right in some points because, no offence, the gays seem more like sex addicts than lovely people to me. And I'm stating this based on facts. Ask anyone where to find gay people and they'll say "gay clubs", "local gym", and "public pool". And the reason they're there? You and I both know.
So you really can't blame me when I say that the gays don't look like kids-loving people to me.
So yeah, unless I get a surrogate mother, the only way I think I could conceive my own children is to get married with a woman
At the end of the day, I still can't tell if I'm bi or a confused straight. Can't deny the fact that I enjoy looking at hot men but to imagine myself with another man is just too much. Hot men envy perhaps? Like how girls experience penis envy?
Perhaps it's time I seek help from a professional. What do you guys think?
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7 comments:
Some gay men go to those places you mentioned to meet other gay men, because they don't know how else to meet them. Most gay men don't, though, which makes them -- the men you would want -- harder to be found. And hey, don't you think the hot guys get hotter in the gym?
You don't need professional help: you just need to fall in love. Trust me, once that happens it'll feel far less awkward to 'be' with another man.
great argument. now that u've realized it, go date a girl. ;) and then tell us how u feel.
Ditto Jackdaw.
Or you're gay and you could have commitment phobia?
haha. not all gays are as u mention. there are some that well, are rly great parent material. =)
and u noe, whichever way u end up to be, gay, str8, bi. i dun think it rly matters. u're still the same person as u are now, just a little more comfortable. Dun fall into the stereotypes, do wat's natural to u =)
Jackdaw: really do hope it's that simple!
Medie: dated, and it felt good. lolx
Sam: or I could be straight n have commitment probs. will let u know when I figure it out =)
Aaron: i dont want to be categorized as such too, but sometimes what the world says can have great effect on you. d community I live in is very, very homophobic.
Even though I knew I was gay a long time ago, it is only very recently, (and I am in my early thirties), that I am comfortable imagining myself with another guy.
Anyway, marriage is over rated! In the end marriage isn't really about sex, but it is about love and companionship. Gender doesn't matter much in companionship and love. One should be with somebody one is comfortable with.
read my blog!
if u r really gay...then, u'll never look back! hahaha
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