At this very moment, I wish to be loved. Well, love as in a boyfriend or girlfriend kinda love.
The feeling of being loved is so good, so good that I feel that I'm the biggest fool to ever let it go.
It's been 18 months since I broke up with my ex. It's been 18 months since I last kissed another person(besides my mum, duh). It's been 18 months since I last held hands with another person. It's been 18 months since I last felt love.
There are several candidates along the way but I just can't bring myself to feel whatever I'm supposed to feel. I definitely have moved on, though I still miss the times when I was with her.
Ever since he appeared in my life, nothing feels right. There's always this urge to know more about him, to befriend him, to be part of his life. Compared with 12 months ago, nothing much has changed, besides me knowing facts about him and he knows nothing about me.
The only person to be blamed in this case is me. I was not ready to part with her, I Was not ready to travel so far from home for my studies, I didn't have enough faith in long-distance relationships. I like him, and still do even after I found out that he's straight.
But my stubborn brain just doesn't want to register this piece of information. Really, how often do you meet someone who can really play futsal, knows nothing about fashion, doesn't cook well, exceptionally good in studies and the only time he's out of the hostel besides attending lessons is to restock his groceries to be gay? Or bi.
OK. Guys who play the male role in a guy-guy relationship often display characteristics of a straight man, but we non-straight guys know whether another guy is straight or not. Gay men don't usually play futsal. Even if they do, they can't be anywhere on the top. Gay men SHOULD at least know something about fashion, if not more. I can assure you, he doesn't even know the fashion world exists.
Well, cooking. I don't cook well too, but I at least try! I seldom see him cook, and most of the time when I do see him cook, it's fried rice or some simple chicken dishes. He is straight! But my brain thinks otherwise. The "signals"? It's just me. Dear old obssessed me, hoping that there's a slight chance that some things within him are bent.
Look where my obssession is driving me to. Totally out of the topic.
Back to love. So yeah, I want to be loved again, I want to provide love to the person who loves me, I want to love the person that I love no matter he loves me back or not.
Love me please, Sam.
The feeling of being loved is so good, so good that I feel that I'm the biggest fool to ever let it go.
It's been 18 months since I broke up with my ex. It's been 18 months since I last kissed another person(besides my mum, duh). It's been 18 months since I last held hands with another person. It's been 18 months since I last felt love.
There are several candidates along the way but I just can't bring myself to feel whatever I'm supposed to feel. I definitely have moved on, though I still miss the times when I was with her.
Ever since he appeared in my life, nothing feels right. There's always this urge to know more about him, to befriend him, to be part of his life. Compared with 12 months ago, nothing much has changed, besides me knowing facts about him and he knows nothing about me.
The only person to be blamed in this case is me. I was not ready to part with her, I Was not ready to travel so far from home for my studies, I didn't have enough faith in long-distance relationships. I like him, and still do even after I found out that he's straight.
But my stubborn brain just doesn't want to register this piece of information. Really, how often do you meet someone who can really play futsal, knows nothing about fashion, doesn't cook well, exceptionally good in studies and the only time he's out of the hostel besides attending lessons is to restock his groceries to be gay? Or bi.
OK. Guys who play the male role in a guy-guy relationship often display characteristics of a straight man, but we non-straight guys know whether another guy is straight or not. Gay men don't usually play futsal. Even if they do, they can't be anywhere on the top. Gay men SHOULD at least know something about fashion, if not more. I can assure you, he doesn't even know the fashion world exists.
Well, cooking. I don't cook well too, but I at least try! I seldom see him cook, and most of the time when I do see him cook, it's fried rice or some simple chicken dishes. He is straight! But my brain thinks otherwise. The "signals"? It's just me. Dear old obssessed me, hoping that there's a slight chance that some things within him are bent.
Look where my obssession is driving me to. Totally out of the topic.
Back to love. So yeah, I want to be loved again, I want to provide love to the person who loves me, I want to love the person that I love no matter he loves me back or not.
Love me please, Sam.
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