I seriously pity myself. Someday I'm really going to regret that I've been spending my whole life sleeping, eating and playing. My life is so boring that there's nothing to blog about holidays, unless you think that sleeping for 10 hours a day and spending the rest watching movies, eating and day-dreaming are things worth blogging.
Well, new semester began yesterday. Only the first day of class but was late for Anatomy lecture(everyone else's late too, btw), met my new Anatomy lecturer which made us do things we've never done before during practical class(she actually made us draw the digestive system of human and label them in both English and Latin!), met this Histology lecturer who gave the first Histology lecture and as usual none of the students understood what was she trying to say. Not to forget, only a total of 30 minutes breaktime for a 9 to 5 class. Ironic.
Will be spending every Thursday for the next 3.5 months dreading to attend lectures and practical classes. Sigh...
As expected, saw the both of them during Anatomy and Histology lectures today. My mind is tired of this but I just can't help looking at them. Brain has problem analysing signals as usual, can't take my eyes off them, mind went blank and there I was, sitting in the lecture hall, my hands and ears on auto-pilot.
As expected, I won't be able to get over them unless I have no contacts of any sort with them. It's impossible not to see them unless we're staying in different hostels. It's impossible not to see them unless none of our classes occur to be at the same place/time. It's impossible not to see them unless I track them down and avoid them as much as I can.
But these are impossible because we DO stay in the same hostel, none of us can escape lectures and plainly because I can't afford buying tracking devices. Well, the last one is just crap, nevermind that.
Is it true that despite being mentally strong, a person can never be normal when he/she comes face to face with the person he/she likes? I'm quite a big help when it comes to helping others solve relationship problems(as my friends all claim), but when it comes to my own relationship problems, I just couldn't handle it myself. Nothing seems to be right. Eyes don't seem to see the truth, ears don't seem to hear properly, brain seems to be analysing things wrongly, body actions are so weird that I sometimes fear that my body will betray myself.
I'm slowly losing co-ordination, not knowing what's right and what's wrong, not knowing what's the truth and what's not, not knowing why am I feeling like this. I'm already physically deteriorating. Used to make sure my hair looks good in public, make sure my breath doesn't stink, make sure I wear decently and never leave my accessories behind. But now, what's left are a not so satisfying hairstyle, still decent but not so up-to-style clothes, a jacket which looks like the one every average kid owns, a nerdy bagpack, spectacles which screws are loose and am not bothered to tighthen them, and accessories which I've smartly left behind at home. Basically, I now look like any average, boring kid anyone can easily find anywhere. Everyone in my university says that I look totally different from myself back in college. But there's nothing I can do. How am I supposed to get a desired hairstyle if I can't communicate with Russians hairstylists? I don't have enough funds to make myself dress better because it's not so good to ask for so much money from parents when they've already paid for my tuition fees studying abroad. I want to buy accessories but what's the point of wearing them if they only make myself look more horrendous? Imagine an average guy with that standard haristyle and not tastefully dressed wearing rings on his hands, necklaces and piercings, probably?
That should stop or everyone reading this would be foaming in front of their computer monitors. Haha.
Well, the fashion part has nothing to do with me falling for them but I think that if I were to dress like the old me, I might at least get some attention from them. If only I have a hairdresser and my accessories with me, things could've been better. The way I look now is so horrendous that I myself might probably get a heart failure looking myself in the mirror. No joke.
No, don't make me start making everyone imagine something horrendous and start foaming again(if you did just now). Well, that's all for today. In desperate need for comments! Everyone do comment k!
Nitez!
Well, new semester began yesterday. Only the first day of class but was late for Anatomy lecture(everyone else's late too, btw), met my new Anatomy lecturer which made us do things we've never done before during practical class(she actually made us draw the digestive system of human and label them in both English and Latin!), met this Histology lecturer who gave the first Histology lecture and as usual none of the students understood what was she trying to say. Not to forget, only a total of 30 minutes breaktime for a 9 to 5 class. Ironic.
Will be spending every Thursday for the next 3.5 months dreading to attend lectures and practical classes. Sigh...
As expected, saw the both of them during Anatomy and Histology lectures today. My mind is tired of this but I just can't help looking at them. Brain has problem analysing signals as usual, can't take my eyes off them, mind went blank and there I was, sitting in the lecture hall, my hands and ears on auto-pilot.
As expected, I won't be able to get over them unless I have no contacts of any sort with them. It's impossible not to see them unless we're staying in different hostels. It's impossible not to see them unless none of our classes occur to be at the same place/time. It's impossible not to see them unless I track them down and avoid them as much as I can.
But these are impossible because we DO stay in the same hostel, none of us can escape lectures and plainly because I can't afford buying tracking devices. Well, the last one is just crap, nevermind that.
Is it true that despite being mentally strong, a person can never be normal when he/she comes face to face with the person he/she likes? I'm quite a big help when it comes to helping others solve relationship problems(as my friends all claim), but when it comes to my own relationship problems, I just couldn't handle it myself. Nothing seems to be right. Eyes don't seem to see the truth, ears don't seem to hear properly, brain seems to be analysing things wrongly, body actions are so weird that I sometimes fear that my body will betray myself.
I'm slowly losing co-ordination, not knowing what's right and what's wrong, not knowing what's the truth and what's not, not knowing why am I feeling like this. I'm already physically deteriorating. Used to make sure my hair looks good in public, make sure my breath doesn't stink, make sure I wear decently and never leave my accessories behind. But now, what's left are a not so satisfying hairstyle, still decent but not so up-to-style clothes, a jacket which looks like the one every average kid owns, a nerdy bagpack, spectacles which screws are loose and am not bothered to tighthen them, and accessories which I've smartly left behind at home. Basically, I now look like any average, boring kid anyone can easily find anywhere. Everyone in my university says that I look totally different from myself back in college. But there's nothing I can do. How am I supposed to get a desired hairstyle if I can't communicate with Russians hairstylists? I don't have enough funds to make myself dress better because it's not so good to ask for so much money from parents when they've already paid for my tuition fees studying abroad. I want to buy accessories but what's the point of wearing them if they only make myself look more horrendous? Imagine an average guy with that standard haristyle and not tastefully dressed wearing rings on his hands, necklaces and piercings, probably?
That should stop or everyone reading this would be foaming in front of their computer monitors. Haha.
Well, the fashion part has nothing to do with me falling for them but I think that if I were to dress like the old me, I might at least get some attention from them. If only I have a hairdresser and my accessories with me, things could've been better. The way I look now is so horrendous that I myself might probably get a heart failure looking myself in the mirror. No joke.
No, don't make me start making everyone imagine something horrendous and start foaming again(if you did just now). Well, that's all for today. In desperate need for comments! Everyone do comment k!
Nitez!
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